Today was the day that a swell, extended summer holiday where I had everything ahead of me and only sweet nothing to enjoy suddenly changed into waiting to go on my mission. There is no more pure enjoyment. There is no more lazing around for the sake of lazing. I may still be a week and a half away from flying out to Provo, but life, this life, is tying itself up.
First, I finished Once Upon a Time. That wasn't half as emotional as expected... I guess because I know it's going to go on, continue, not end yet. I'm just stepping away for a while, and that's ok. In fact it's rather nice to be filled with the hope of a happy, white-hearted Rumpelstiltskin and not actually face what that would be like in reality. To dream of the endless possibilities, with no limit to what it would actually be like. That was very take-the-next- step affirming.
Second, I handed over my car today. I'd had Hedwig since I first passed my test 6 years ago. It felt poetically right that we should part after the same amount of time Harry Potter had with his owl- plus my car doesn't actually die! Even after all this, she is still road worthy and I didn't have to see her get squashed into a metal burger. During university, with the regular trips to and from home, she became my lifeline, the one thing that was constant, the one place I could put something and know I would always have it if I needed it. I really relied on her. Then I realised, she had also seen me grow up, from high school student to somewhat independent young adult. I miss her already and can't imagine loving another car like her.
Thirdly, and I think for today, finally, I finished the series that has often felt like a semi-autobiography of my life- 'Gilmore Girls'. I was first introduced to this quirky programme when I was about 15, so in my slow way it's been nearly 10 years of me avoiding experiencing the ending. But I think it came at the right time. Despite marriage proposals, whole town parties and Kirk in a box, the series ended as it started, with mother and daughter sharing time together. That's the hardest parting, leaving my mum behind and knowing that the world I am currently inhabiting will never be the same. I can never return to it. Sure, I hope to come back after 18 months, but just as 'Gilmore Girls' couldn't continue, our world is closing in on itself and ending, never to be the same again.
This chapter is finished, the next one is yet to be written.